kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
