there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
