She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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