Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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