I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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