I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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