Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
