You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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