Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
