she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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