im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
