We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
