if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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