i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
