Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
