saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
