If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
