So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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