Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My vagina is officially offended.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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