Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
