What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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