Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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