lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
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