Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Holy shit dude........stairs
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