Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
