He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize