When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize