'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
