I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
