So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
farters have to be the big spoon...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
