i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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