Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
