His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
