that's an acceptable place to lick
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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