Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
