Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
