Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
