I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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