We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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