so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
