I want to stick my p in your. b.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
