Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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