sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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