i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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