ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
How does it feel to date your dad?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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