Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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