I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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