you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
