there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
