I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
