You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
