I want to have your abortion
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
