today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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