I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
