What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
