There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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