You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Randomize
