Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
