"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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