so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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