wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
