you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
she smelled like a LAN party
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
