like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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