You're my little dorito
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
