I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
