Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize