Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
