listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
