I got chris browned last night
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize
