My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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