Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize