you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Sext me about skeletons
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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