sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I party with great urgency now.
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